I always feel as if I haven’t done enough during whatever time period I place upon myself. I guess that comes with being a perfectionist. I just feel it causes even more of a strain, for me, when that goal (or desired result) is not reached. A lot of people “shoot for the moon to be with the stars!” and all that bullshyt…
I be tryna shoot for Sirius and be pissed when I land on Mars.
I might have done something not many have done and be pissed because it is not what I expected…not how I envisioned and a lot of other discriptive verbs I could use to paint a picture with no colors.
Either way, I aint dead yet, so I got that going for me…
I promise this daily blog thing is a LOT harder than what I thought it would be when I started this recent “writing down my thoughts challenge“. I may have put more on myself than was actually needed…or even wanted!
Even right now, I should wrote the #MusicMonday post but I have been doing other shyt today. Just getting to the point of truly wanting to write for the day. Promise I’ll get it together on a more consistent basis. It’s been seven days since I last wrote something and it kinda unfortunate I neglect ya’ll like a bastard ass child…
I bring presents sometimes though! Just not today… I gotta go see a man about a horse.
This is a VERY long story with all its intricacies but I’ll try to stick with the FACTS! When we moved to Texas back in Spring 20-18, I took a few temp jobs before I took the job I stole this computer from. During the interview, Dude (his name in the story) all but convinced me to “join the team” and make thousands of dollars a WEEK! All I needed was the drive and a laptop computer. I had a laptop computer! But it was…cosmetically challenged…so Dude loaned me this Lenovo!
“Once Ü start making money, just buy a new computer and give me this one back.” – Dude
Fast forward like, 2 months. I haven’t made any money and they have fired Dude! A supremely hostile office takeover that left the “team” at each others paychecks!!! It’s crazy how money can make humans turn cannibalistic. The “making money” Dude spoke about was oh so real! Almost $100,000 in checks were passed out the first payday I was in the office. Every Monday after was almost similar, but they fired Dude soon after I started, demoted my trainer, rewrote MY business, and showed very little concern for my wife almost losing her life…
With Dude out the office and state (I helped him pack up his house for $100), me broke & almost a single father…I took Lenny Lenovo and left. Funny thing is, Lenny is actually a stolen computer. Dude had loaned “a white laptop” to a past employee who actually made money with the company. Then he went missing. Long story short, he was in jail for selling Meth and sold the white computer. Dude (who didn’t know all that at the time) sent him some money to send the computer back to him. When it finally arrived, months later, it was Lenny.
Lenny is completely different white computer Meth man (no relation) sent back to Dude. Dude lent Lenny Lenovo to me to make money and that is what I am going to do!
*I wrote this story 2 other times that did not post. #Pissed
This song is dope! Lyrics aside, this song took maybe close to a decade to be in the shape that it’s in currently. If Ü were to ask me this song is incomplete in a few different ways, so I’m happy Ü never asked!
Right off the jump, Ü might notice the sample of Young Dro’s “Shoulder Lean” during the hook. I do remember the song being popular around the time this track was produced by my cousin Bonez. Regardless, the beat is super dope! I used to listen to it forever but never came up with anything solid to lay on top of the instrumental. If my cousin sold it to someone else, I’ll never know, but I held on to it since the day he gave it to me (or I stole it).
Flash forward to the summer of 2013.
I had intention to move to Los Angels with my OTHER producer cousin, Primo Imani, way back in December/November of 2012. He ended up in Sacramento with his aunt by the time summer came around so I went out there instead. When I got there I brought my Mac Mini to finish mixing my latest project “Sketches Vol.2: #Unbalanced“. I also had a hard drive with the “Young Dro sample beat” on it. Enter my cousins husband Savior.
Without saying TOO much about who this guy is and WHY it’s so dope to get him on a vocal recording of any kind, I low-key convinced my cousins husband to jump this beat. It was something that just came up with I started clicking tracks while we was free-styling. We spent more time trying to figure out how to transfer the mp3 to his studio so we could lay it down that we actually spent writing AND recording the song. After like an hour, we went to get whatever food his wife cooked while we was bullshytin’ with our lives.
When I left California headed to Michigan for a wedding, the song only had our verses. I had sent a bird out to a few different people to see if they want the middle verse. Only one person actually sent me a verse, but it was time sensitive and self destructed before I got the chance to adhere it to the unfinished track. And now that Im sitting here thing about it, I don’t even believe the song was finished that year. I eventually had to call Savior and let him know I needed the raw .WAV files so I could finish mixing the song. I had to cut the 3rd verse out of the song (Ü can’t even tell I did that) and come up with a hook to fill the empty space. Thus, “Block Talk” was born!
Because I tend to not speak often enough about it, I need to start promoting my music more. I have people out here not even know that I created one of Michigan’s SMOOTHEST tracks featuring the LEGENDARY MC Breed. It still remains fly & relevant to this day. That song solidified me in the music industry…it just didn’t establish me.
I have always been a writer at heart, even before writing songs. So it is only natural that I have an urge to write music from time to time. So lets say, for the past 15 years I have been creating music in one form or another. It has actually been a few years longer than that (2002) but 15 makes it seem not that much longer ago…for me.
From now and going further, I will post a link to a track I wrote or had a part in creating and actually take Ü through what was going on in my life at the time of writing or recording a track that I have floating out there on the internet. Call this my attempt at doing a little extra to let people know that, yes, I “still be rappin?'”…as I’m asked quite often.
I mean…procrastination is a reason for sure, but not a good one. I waited all the way until the end of the day to start thinking about writing this thing and see where that leaves us? Missing a day! But everything should be alright as long as I don’t dwell on it and keep it moving correct?
I’m going to continue writing them as the 1st thing in MY morning and then Ü can get to it when ever, if ever, Ü feel. I might have to stop catering to the worlds needs and handle my own first. So yeah, first thing in the morning…even bought me a mouse to help better operate the stolen computer! It has already been in heavy use during the creation of this writing (typing?).
Talked to the Magnificent M. Frank and he gave me some grand advice! Consistency is KEY on all levels! I’ve been saying that for a while but it’s time to show & prove…walk it like I type it….
After I made the post last night I started thinking:
“I wonder if they are more day time readers or night time readers?”
Soooooo, When do Ü prefer to read these things? Or does it not even matter as long as I keep em coming daily? I want to make sure those that actually read my thoughts have 1st access to them…kinda creepy but still…
At this point, I have been without MY computer for two months shy of a year. Never thought I would be as dependent on it as I am. It kinda sucks not being able to access the thousands of pictures I’ve taken or hundreds of songs I’ve recorded (mine & others). Not being able to record new music whenever I feel like it has been depressing in many different ways. I have not “made a beat” in what seems to be eons. i was working on video production & eventually making a smooth transition into making short mini movies (I don’t even watch movies though). It’s sad…I feel like I was accomplishing something…
Good thing I stole this laptop! I would be have the hardest of times trying to communicate these thoughts to Ü!
I promise…for me, it’s harder to get started AND THEN continue (consistency) than just getting started. Lost it all after tryna watch that fight on Saturday…which didn’t even happen! I just wanted to see Broner get his ass beat, but this computer that I kinda stole from my last gig is barely good enough for what I’m doing with it…shouldn’t have tried to watch that fight for free on a Chromebook…