nuknoe

Living Life & Loving It

Moving Forward

I do a lot…

Sometimes, I do SO much that it’s almost as if I didn’t do anything at all.
Other times, I try an force my presence, upon nouns of all types, with no gain either way.

Look back at the “summer” and how well it went, I can say that I have allowed a few life inconveniences to hold me back from reach a level of my true potential. I have also been a MAJOR cause in letting this happen. I am the only one who has the power to do things in this body. My actions are of my own, no matter the outside influence.

Moving forward, I feel I need to go back…WAY back!

I am not sure where Ü might have came across this blog, but I have been writing for a decade or more on the internet. My very 1st writing are being turned into a book in the near future. I feel they need to have a fresh pair of eyes but in a different format.

I want to mold this blog to become a bit more like that one. By posting on the 1st & 15th, I will be able to update the readers with both aspects of the beautiful struggle with call Life. I also want to get back into having quotes that accompany the message and vibe of my current feelings.

Also, I do want to make sure my social medias are in sync with the things contained within these post-es. Not sure how yet, but I’m sure it will flow together somehow. I do welcome follows and comments and everything I say. I will be saying some forcefully thought provoking topics in the near future and I would like to know the thoughts of others.

Maybe I could be wrong about something for a change?

Finally, I tend to be a “keep to myself” kind of person. I catch a LOT of flack for that considering I’m in “The Industry“…but I don’t give a [redacted]! But I need to start trying to do so. So I’ll start…

I know eventually I will post more than twice a month, but this is the 1st for the month of borndates. Ill keep ya’ll posted more when that time comes. Until then, thank Ü for reading to this point! It’s greatly appreciated, always!

NÜK

 

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sO-oLD

Lately, I have been finding myself more spaced out on the on the things I SHOULD be doing and not what I am accomplishing. Focusing on what I’m not doing or feel I should be doing is becoming my personal downfall. I could blame a bit of depression on this as well, but that might be a cop out in all honesty.

Being the artist that I am, I can create and move on to the next project with no thought to the last. While some might think that to be great, I tend to create like the corpse flower. Even then, I don’t formally release the material…especially when I feel it is not up to par to a standard that I don’t even believe matters to people. Kinda like Prince and his Vault, I have music and writings from 2002 that I have yet to release. Not that I even feel those songs need to be released.

I mean…

Who would want to listen to how I USED to be? Those song are who I WAS, not who I am currently…I think? There is truly only one way to find out! But before that, I need to get over a few personal hurdles.

NÜK

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Matters of Transparency

I have grown up and matured a lot since I almost lost my life. One thing is for sure, I have become more mental in my actions every since. I tend to plan far ahead then make my actions towards those goals. Life happens often, plans change periodically, but the finish line is always the same. And even then, Ill start another “race” after that one is completed.

The issue that I have been finding is that, for what EVER reason, there are people who have this HYPER grand perception of what Im actually doing to survive on a day to day basis. The choices I make to make things happen. The struggle is real y’all and don’t make me lay my cards down & pull a few others to make a point. We all struggle walking this planet in one way or another, the difference is how we handle our pain.

I don’t tend to talk about my struggle much…but Im beginning to feel that I NEED to say something. So I will. Not today though…

NÜK

Transparency

Return of the Kings

Greetings to those reading at whatever moment in time!

I literally killed most of my online interaction almost a month ago trying to focus my mind on my tasks for the summer and beyond. Even with this post, I am still falling behind with things that I have done i the past. I would like to try something different though this year.

The Summer of Kings is something I started back in 2009 (or close to it) that allows me to step on my soapbox and respectfully (or not) voice my opinion. I usually start from  June 21st up until September 21st. Over the last few years though, I have not held up my end of the stick and have dropped the ball on a few occasions. This year, I want to do things differently.

Unlike past years, I want to bring these writings a bit closer to home. I don’t want to spotlight people that may already have a limelight type glow. I also want to shine a light in the darkness I have hidden within my own life, professional and personal. The endgame would be to bring more understanding to why I do what I do, when I do. Ima cool cat but I be stressed beyond my understanding at times. Every King needs a few different advisers right?

Either way, Summer of Kings ’17 is shaping out to be a productive 12 weeks or so. The blog is the guide through it all, but follow me on twitter for the play by play. Facebook is not a place I find myself on a lot, but I be there from time to time. Reach me anyway possible and I get back to ya!

Peace,

NÜK

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Used The Force NÜK!

I think I be thinking about trying too hard too much.
The best course of action to to just be…me.
Finding it hard to be who I AM, as opposed to who people believe I should be.
There is no goal that I should be reaching for.
The main objective is to be better than I was “yesterday”.
Change is happening…if Ü like it or not!
Why go against the grain?

NÜK

 

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The Monster

My youngest daughter had a bad dream one night. I walked in the room while it was happening to turn off a light. Honestly not sure how often it happens, but this was a first for me. After I leave the room, she starts screaming MURDER about a monster! My Queen goes to get her…

I lightweight tried to comfort her, but she was too shaken and terrified to be bothered. It was a bad feeling fareal. Confusion on all ends. Told her that I “threw the monster in the trash”, which kinda worked a lil bit. I think she slept with us that night (I need a bigger bed). Flash forward to the next evening as dinner is being prepared. Its funny, but:

My daughter screams: “NOOOOOOO!!!! The monster!!!”
Me: “What’s wrong little girl?”
Her running out the kitchen: “The monster is in the kitchen! It scare me!”

*She jumps on the couch head first into the pillows screaming*

Me, confused: “But you’ve been in the kitchen all this time?”
Her: “NOOOOOOOOooOOoOOooOO!!!!”

*She goes back into the kitchen, comes back to me and cries*

“The monster daddy! It scare me!”

SO, I’m getting off the couch, with my daugther behind me, to investigate the monster that has been messing with her these last 24 hours and…I actually SEE it! SHe start to bawl and scream, while poniting on the kicthen table. “The Mosnter Daddy!!!”, as we breach the threshhold. Then I behold, the gorgeously seasoned, uncooked chicken carcass in the roasting pan.

My daughter is hysterical at this moment. So I say, while putting the cover on the pan, what I believe any other father would in this moment:

“Daddy is gonna have Mommy get rid of it! Let’s get out the kitchen…”

SHe eventually went to bed early, shaken by the whole experience I presume. Everything has been fine lately. BUt the message I stress the most? Watch what your child views on the internet. Youtube is fucking crazy!

NUK

Continue?

Lately it seems that I might be burning the candle at both ends. I do not believe that I will “burn out” anytime soon, although I do feel as if I am not doing something correctly. Keeping up with The Jones is real! Not even saying that I want to have certain things or be a part of certain conversation (I refuse to watch Game of Thrones), more so that I am running in a hamster wheel and thinking that is progress.

In order to get the results that I have been striving for, I need to shift my focus a bit. THIS blog was start as a response to Myspace removing my original posting place. I picked the topic “Thoughts of a Conflicted Blackman” as a blanket to cover the topic that occur in MY life. Since the creation, I have evolved into much more than a conflicted individual. I have been learning towards social commentary more, I have touched on global news/politics, and even have posted a few of my fears, stresses, anxieties and much more over the last 5 years…but should I continue¿

Not saying I will quit writing this blog, but I feel as if I should be starting in a new direction. I will always have thoughts of confliction as a black man, but I am SO much more than that! I have a family that a rarely speak of online. I have ambitions as a father that I stress over, I have hobbies other than the music I so immensely enjoy creating (gardening anyone?), I have motivational & inspirational stories of my past that I want to share, I have been working on starting a program for people with low self esteem as well as program for young people who want to make a career in the music industry. All these things do not fit well into this space I have created.

In order to best serve my audience (and myself), I want to know if I should continue writing in this blog. I will always write in it…but the frequency will definitely change and the content will start become more editorial than a “brain spill”. Just gotta ask my audience and see if they are open to the next phaze of development before I go and start a new something, leaving my established grounds unmanaged.

Just a thought I was thinking…

Now my friend, go off and be grandly awesome on this day given to us! I will catch Ü later!

Be Smooth,

NÜK

Nobody’s Dream

I have been doing a LOT with myself over the last few weeks, almost like Im playing catch up with myself (as usual). The momentum of how I want things to be is not matching the number of hours in a day. The greatest part about restructuring my life is finding out what works and what doesn’t…who works and who will not…who to allow on projects and, Ü get the ideal.

It all starts with me truly. All the issues, complaints, delays, surges of nothings and lackluster effort…all comes from my doing.

See, if I allow certain people, places or things to take control of what I am creating, I will lose. The fact of the matter is that nobody cares as much as I do about what I do. There might be people reading this saying “But NÜK, iCare!”, and I appreciate those people but see…Ü don’t care enough…

Im not saying there is a gage of carability that comes along with a CD or soap purchase or something, but there just comes a point where people will not care about YOUR project like YOU will. Deep down, there is a certain joy & pride that comes with creating something from scratch. That is the reason some people enjoy cooking. Thats why there are people who enjoy doodling on Starbucks cups. Those are the type of people who do artsy things because it was Tuesday. Nobody tells them to do those things…they just do…

Allowing someone to control or even have a certain amount of control over your work can make the last seem like it is not even worth pursuing. This is not the case with me though. I would sooner put my foot in somebody ass before I allow them to have me in a tight situation. I have been in a few situations like that in the past and now try my best to avoid allowing someone the upper hand on MY art(s). I just got pissed after I sent a text message and came here to vent.

And I appreciate your time greatly!

NÜK

Teaching The Reincarnated Self #JaT

While writing “200 Years Later”, I started thinking of a dope ass concept:

What if the things Ü do NOW will have a direct influence on who Ü will be in the next life?

Let me explain this a little bit further because i know I tend to be thinking something and not quite able to flesh it out properly. But I, like a few people called crazy, believe that reincarnation is a FACT. I feel that it is a basic principle in this existence we call Life. The energy that animate this shell we call a body will travel into another, creating another experience in the expression of humanity.

Thats just how Im going to explain it here.

But so, what if, after Ü have lived your life to the fullest and have passed blissfully during slumber, Ü awake into a new world. Once Ü come to a certain age of understanding, Ü began to read books about this person in history that was of grand significance in one way or another. For whatever reason, this person of the past intrigues Ü in ways that are unexplainable. A fire for knowledge and understand of who this person becomes ignited and rekindled with every bit of information Ü uncover. This quest becomes an odd obsession that begins to consume a portion of your being…it feels…familiar…

After some time of deep meditation, Ü have come to see the current world through the eyes of your historically submerged mind. The marvels that proliferate the world around Ü are exponentially advanced over the primitive toys of the the past age….

How dope would that actually be???

Truth be told, I never too much “dream” about what it would be like in the next life, because I AM still living in THIS life. But just for the moment of writing this piece, it was grand to think about living the next life. Seeing how far we have went from this point. How we fixed our fuck ups and corrected those of others on the planet. Just living in a place that was built upon the sacrifices that were made NOW, in this lifetime. Im pretty sure this planet will not look like how I saw in this writing in my lifetime, everybody would know what to do with all that right now.

Bringing myself back down to reality, the one we are living together currently. The ripple effect is something that I want to create with whatever I have done with my life. Like most people of prominence, the impact on the planet won’t be truly appreciate until that person is no longer here. But I would like to think IF that soul decided to come back and experience the life at a later date, the impact of the previous lifetime would show itself to that one. Even if they were to never connect the dots and know that they are the person who has that ability to change the world.

NÜK

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200 Years Later

Since Prince has passed away, the only thing I have thought about is The Vault. That storage of music is something that makes SO much sense in the music industry. Being a recording artists myself, I can see myself in a similar situation. Creating and recording music constantly and not releasing it for the general public. Even now I have songs that I truly don’t believe will see the light of day in their current form. Over the course of the last 5 years, I have learned a tremendous amount about mixing and mastering music. All those things combined have cut out thousands of dollars in studio fees and costs and have allowed me to record my children in home (my two year old like to rap & play piano).
With the money made from musical endeavors, I want to invest in a school of arts. I truly have a passion for the musical arts, but I feel that their are other art forms that are just as grand and beautiful, with little or even untapped resources for in black communities. My son constantly tells me about wanting to do something with cells but I have no ideal as to broaden that seed other than water and entertain his dreams. I want a school of art that will water the dreams of those who never knew it could be possible!
So in the year 2216, not only will the progeny of my blood line be teaching at the school, Ill also have a music hall dedicated to me. The school don’t even got to be named after me, I just want the music hall to show the student the impact I made on the planet with the art I created. Not only will it contain the music compositions from “The Vault” of art I created while still breathing, the top graduating students of the music classes might even get an unreleased verse from me. Im pretty sure Ill be able to have a hologram of myself congratulating students on completing their enlightenment through the school curriculum. And once a year, the day of my death, a new song from The Vault will release to the planet. Not saying it like it will be the greatest song ever, it might suck, but it will be released into the music industry.

Yeah…

I can see that!!! And what makes things even better? I WANT to see that happen!!! I want to be able to make those things happen!!! I WILL see to it that those things I wrote about will come into fruition. I need to start inspiring what will be the future me!

Who knows what the future holds…it was unwritten until just now though…

NÜK

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