Living Life & Loving It

Category: Random Thoughts

Nobody’s Dream

I have been doing a LOT with myself over the last few weeks, almost like Im playing catch up with myself (as usual). The momentum of how I want things to be is not matching the number of hours in a day. The greatest part about restructuring my life is finding out what works and what doesn’t…who works and who will not…who to allow on projects and, Ü get the ideal.

It all starts with me truly. All the issues, complaints, delays, surges of nothings and lackluster effort…all comes from my doing.

See, if I allow certain people, places or things to take control of what I am creating, I will lose. The fact of the matter is that nobody cares as much as I do about what I do. There might be people reading this saying “But NÜK, iCare!”, and I appreciate those people but see…Ü don’t care enough…

Im not saying there is a gage of carability that comes along with a CD or soap purchase or something, but there just comes a point where people will not care about YOUR project like YOU will. Deep down, there is a certain joy & pride that comes with creating something from scratch. That is the reason some people enjoy cooking. Thats why there are people who enjoy doodling on Starbucks cups. Those are the type of people who do artsy things because it was Tuesday. Nobody tells them to do those things…they just do…

Allowing someone to control or even have a certain amount of control over your work can make the last seem like it is not even worth pursuing. This is not the case with me though. I would sooner put my foot in somebody ass before I allow them to have me in a tight situation. I have been in a few situations like that in the past and now try my best to avoid allowing someone the upper hand on MY art(s). I just got pissed after I sent a text message and came here to vent.

And I appreciate your time greatly!


Teaching The Reincarnated Self #JaT

While writing “200 Years Later”, I started thinking of a dope ass concept:

What if the things Ü do NOW will have a direct influence on who Ü will be in the next life?

Let me explain this a little bit further because i know I tend to be thinking something and not quite able to flesh it out properly. But I, like a few people called crazy, believe that reincarnation is a FACT. I feel that it is a basic principle in this existence we call Life. The energy that animate this shell we call a body will travel into another, creating another experience in the expression of humanity.

Thats just how Im going to explain it here.

But so, what if, after Ü have lived your life to the fullest and have passed blissfully during slumber, Ü awake into a new world. Once Ü come to a certain age of understanding, Ü began to read books about this person in history that was of grand significance in one way or another. For whatever reason, this person of the past intrigues Ü in ways that are unexplainable. A fire for knowledge and understand of who this person becomes ignited and rekindled with every bit of information Ü uncover. This quest becomes an odd obsession that begins to consume a portion of your being…it feels…familiar…

After some time of deep meditation, Ü have come to see the current world through the eyes of your historically submerged mind. The marvels that proliferate the world around Ü are exponentially advanced over the primitive toys of the the past age….

How dope would that actually be???

Truth be told, I never too much “dream” about what it would be like in the next life, because I AM still living in THIS life. But just for the moment of writing this piece, it was grand to think about living the next life. Seeing how far we have went from this point. How we fixed our fuck ups and corrected those of others on the planet. Just living in a place that was built upon the sacrifices that were made NOW, in this lifetime. Im pretty sure this planet will not look like how I saw in this writing in my lifetime, everybody would know what to do with all that right now.

Bringing myself back down to reality, the one we are living together currently. The ripple effect is something that I want to create with whatever I have done with my life. Like most people of prominence, the impact on the planet won’t be truly appreciate until that person is no longer here. But I would like to think IF that soul decided to come back and experience the life at a later date, the impact of the previous lifetime would show itself to that one. Even if they were to never connect the dots and know that they are the person who has that ability to change the world.



200 Years Later

Since Prince has passed away, the only thing I have thought about is The Vault. That storage of music is something that makes SO much sense in the music industry. Being a recording artists myself, I can see myself in a similar situation. Creating and recording music constantly and not releasing it for the general public. Even now I have songs that I truly don’t believe will see the light of day in their current form. Over the course of the last 5 years, I have learned a tremendous amount about mixing and mastering music. All those things combined have cut out thousands of dollars in studio fees and costs and have allowed me to record my children in home (my two year old like to rap & play piano).
With the money made from musical endeavors, I want to invest in a school of arts. I truly have a passion for the musical arts, but I feel that their are other art forms that are just as grand and beautiful, with little or even untapped resources for in black communities. My son constantly tells me about wanting to do something with cells but I have no ideal as to broaden that seed other than water and entertain his dreams. I want a school of art that will water the dreams of those who never knew it could be possible!
So in the year 2216, not only will the progeny of my blood line be teaching at the school, Ill also have a music hall dedicated to me. The school don’t even got to be named after me, I just want the music hall to show the student the impact I made on the planet with the art I created. Not only will it contain the music compositions from “The Vault” of art I created while still breathing, the top graduating students of the music classes might even get an unreleased verse from me. Im pretty sure Ill be able to have a hologram of myself congratulating students on completing their enlightenment through the school curriculum. And once a year, the day of my death, a new song from The Vault will release to the planet. Not saying it like it will be the greatest song ever, it might suck, but it will be released into the music industry.


I can see that!!! And what makes things even better? I WANT to see that happen!!! I want to be able to make those things happen!!! I WILL see to it that those things I wrote about will come into fruition. I need to start inspiring what will be the future me!

Who knows what the future holds…it was unwritten until just now though…



Technology of Today

Listening to podcasts and reading certain tech articles online are maybe the only ways I find out about new technologies. I would like to think that I am a lil bit less than riding the  proverbial technological wave, I truly don’t like having the newest of new shyt that comes out. I used to be scared of being tracked by the government and whatnot…now Im scared of losing my humanity.

I could possibly go on but I think my point is at least out there. I have been having the hardest time deciding if I actually want to have a cell phone for a LONG time. I just don’t like the ideal of THAT much access to communicate with me. I find it sad that people don’t write others letters like 10 years or so ago. Handwriting is becoming a dying art form quickly. My fear is not being able to access certain groups of people due to being “outdated”. Like, trying to get people to listen to my “Mixtape”…


I TRULY had a hard time trying to get people to listen to my CD in 2010…its just not how people access music anymore. Making a “physical” music product is like moving backwards in the music industry. “Physical” copies of certain things are no longer a viable way of “doing it” any more. Not sex, I mean like, people PAY for mobile games that allow Ü to acquire “in game money”, so Ü can purchase in game stuff, right? And if Ü run out on the in game money, Ü can use more REAL money to purchase the fake money and continue to progress further in the game.

Maybe Im missing something?

Maybe we are SUPPOSED to plug shyt into the back of our heads at night so we can “recharge”. Maybe we don’t need to eat food no more. Maybe we can all put a helmet on our heads and play volleyball on Mars in the near future. Maybe…


There are only a few different outcomes:

The Good
The Bad


Maybe something else???





In the “grand scheme of things”, I do not try to act like Im “in the the know” about certain things/topics. To be perfectly honest, I don’t care about certain types of Popular Culture and tend to stray away from the ripples they cause. I often get made fun of for not watching certain movies or listening to certain albums or watch certain programs on Netflix or major Television Stations. Truly, doesn’t bother me in the slightest…

Not being in the know has its perks if Ü ask me!!! Having a chance to make choices based on what I feel is what I want is a wonderful feeling. I honestly have not bought “name brand” soap since I looked online and figured out how to make it! I just finished making 5 gallons of liquid laundry soap…coast me less than a dollar after the initial 12 dollars for a bucket and the 4 ingredients in bulk. The toothpaste I make tastes, looks and  cleans my teeth just like the toothpaste I used to spend 4 dollars a tube on. I wish I could do something else in this fashion…Ill figure it out later though…

When I tell people that I don’t watch TV, they look at me like I kick puppies with my spare time. I do tend to read…a LOT! The things that I place in front of my eyes vary from news articles, info graphs, BOOKS!!!, certain online blogs and I have even read historic documents such as The Declaration of Independence, The Constitution of United States of America and Jet Magazine May 11, 1972. I do spend a grand deal doing what I call “wasteful work” on the internet, but for the most part, I keep my nose clean.

One of the grand things that I feel have benefited me by being removed from the “#GroupThink” mindset is being truly shocked at the things I find certain people do in order to continue a certain perception. Not singling out any type of persona or person(s) that might “need” to be shocking in order to standout in the crowd, some of the shyt people do is CRAZY!!! But I can’t stop talking about they dumbass…for whatever reason. It is always good to have your name come out someones mouth, good or bad…I guess. Even then there are those walking this planet with us who follow the trends that are set without questioning them. Like jumping off a bridge because your friends are doing it, at least that is how I view it.

Just an observation about MYSELF more than anything. Realizing that I am trying not to be a part of the craziness that is oh so prevalent has been a grand mental weight relief. Keeping up with The Jones’ (or The Combs’ in that song I heard on the radio) will make sure Ü are living a life that is NOT something Ü can handle. Gotta keep up with your own situations and issues before Ü can keep up with The Kardasians*.

*in my Forest Gump voice*

Thats all I have to say about that….


*I don’t care how they name is spelled.



Keeping Up With The Internet

I used to have a Myspace!!! That was my spot man…
That is honestly where I started writing my blog!
Im glad I copied all of em before they changed it.
I lost my password and Facebook consumed my soul…

Youtube’d a lil bit but didn’t have a camera so that was that.
I wrote poetry for a while on Facebook before it became a liability
Had to eventually delete those because they got kinda popular!
I wigged out that I never copyrighted them!!!

Then came the #TwitShyt!!!
Which is my favorite platform on the social inter webs.
I say how I feel & don’t delete NOTHING!
Ü should follow me!!!

And then came the Insta, reddit, pin-thing, fours4, this thing and the next to the point that I just want to start coloring in a book with crayons. It can’t be this serious?

Somethings don’t ever change.
Im still writing this blog right?
But Id rather be a river than a stream of piss
I gotta start writing more on paper…



I truly don’t get caught up in the “New Year” mind set. I try to operate under the impression that the “New Year” is not what one might think it is. I might have to write about that one day, but for now, I would like to keep things as simple as possible.

I have noticed that I tend to make things more complicated than should be. I might not be alone in doing that, so I will attempt to make my struggle a bit more transparent. The goals that I am laying out for myself are in order to keep me on track. I tend to make a LOT of outrageous claims that I usually cannot follow through with. I would LOVE to bring a cease to that immediately!!!

So, my mission is to continue to keep it super simple! They call it the KISS Principle. And with that knowledge, hopefully, I will begin changing the world around me in a major way. Alchemy in a way.

I just gotta keep it smooth and steady incline.
You’ll see…


That 1st Step #Fear

*deep sigh*

There is MUCH internal struggle in EVERYTHING that I do!!!
That INTERNAL struggle often spills OUTWARD during times of grand stress.
I have been noticing my reactions to my surroundings quite more over the last few years.
Being aware of SELF during times when others are not have put me in a BAD place at times.
KNOWING those things, I know where majority of my hesitations have came from…

Research, experiences, trials and errors have brought me to the point the we all call PRESENT.
REFLECTING on those moments in memory have helped craft a path through the clouds of the past.
At the weakest of moments, there have been times that I KNEW I had things under control!
And those were the times that I couldn’t have been more wrong…

Being wrong at that level, with such high RISKS, is a thrill that is indescribable!!!
Its like falling from Space through the atmosphere and landing into a bottomless sinkhole of Cool Whip.
If Ü happen to manage burning the fuck up through the air, Ü still won’t be able to enjoy the taste of success…

Reaching out to answer the door when opportunity knocks
And believing the door is locked from the outside…



A Positive Mind

I sit back and view my surroundings more than the people in them. I have come to figure out that the people in my surroundings are the cause of the…ill say aura, that I feel. Taking a long look at my predicament, I can either change it or leave it alone. I am ALL about being a team player!!! As long as I can do it on my own time…like Batman & the Justice League.

Looking back on the life thus far?

Somebody has to smile about it all, right?



The Short Sighted Minds Eye

So let’s say Humans DO have a purpose on this beautiful ball of life!

What is that purpose?
Be fruitful & cover the Earth?

It might be just me but I’d like to think it was more to it than that…

Even if I were to be wrong in my thinking, the thoughts that I have had towards being more than a talking rabbit with bills to pay are GRAND! So grand in fact that I have been paying attention to the stars almost EVERY night. I have became pissed off at the clouds on occasion. I despise living in the city  due to the light pollution. And all these airplanes spraying this shyt in the air is becoming all too much for me!

I feel like Im being blocked from something…
I can feel that…without seeing anything…