Living Life & Loving It

Category: Day to Day

Moving Forward

The main thing that I have noticed with myself is the nature and AWESOME ability of procrastination. I can put things off until the last minute, usually completing whatever in the time, but maybe suffering from lack of refinement. So I gotta truly stop that!

Practicing on being more consistant that yesterday is what will turn me into a Superhero! Not saying it like I WANT to be Batman, more so, ‘With great power, comes great responsibilities”. I KNOW that I can do more than what I am (or even have been) lately. So I need to start working on making what i have been doing more consistant.

Consistency is KEY!
And I have been coming with the consistency of pancake batter lately!!
Gotta get serious!!!


The Next Phaze

As I sit here contemplating my next move, I have to weight out the options. On one hand:

Staying in my current position could offer me flexibility to become a fixture in the corporate world! I’d still be at the bottom for a few more years or until people get fired or whatever…but yeah…


I could do something different that has the opportunity for a bit of freedom AND the likelihood of doing some traveling. As many may have known, I still have my CDL license…I drove semis safely across the country (38 state or more). I no longer want to do that for MULTIPLE reasons and because of that factor, I got into a different industry that is to the acquiring of this computer.

So it’s back to school…again…


This video sums up how I feel being in a cubicle.

Moving Forward

I do a lot…

Sometimes, I do SO much that it’s almost as if I didn’t do anything at all.
Other times, I try an force my presence, upon nouns of all types, with no gain either way.

Look back at the “summer” and how well it went, I can say that I have allowed a few life inconveniences to hold me back from reach a level of my true potential. I have also been a MAJOR cause in letting this happen. I am the only one who has the power to do things in this body. My actions are of my own, no matter the outside influence.

Moving forward, I feel I need to go back…WAY back!

I am not sure where Ü might have came across this blog, but I have been writing for a decade or more on the internet. My very 1st writings are being turned into a book in the near future. I feel they need to have a fresh pair of eyes but in a different format.

I want to mold this blog to become a bit more like that one. By posting on the 1st & 15th, I will be able to update the readers with both aspects of the beautiful struggle called Life. I also want to get back into having quotes that accompany the message and vibe of my current feelings.

Also, I do want to make sure my social medias are in sync with the things contained within these post-es. Not sure how yet, but I’m sure it will flow together somehow. I do welcome follows and comments and everything I say. I will be saying some forcefully thought provoking topics in the near future and I would like to know the thoughts of others.

Maybe I could be wrong about something for a change?

Finally, I tend to be a “keep to myself” kind of person. I catch a LOT of flack for that considering I’m in “The Industry“…but I don’t give a [redacted]! But I need to start trying to do so. So I’ll start…

I know eventually I will post more than twice a month, but this is the 1st for the month of borndates. Ill keep ya’ll posted more when that time comes. Until then, thank Ü for reading to this point! It’s greatly appreciated, always!





Lately it seems that I might be burning the candle at both ends. I do not believe that I will “burn out” anytime soon, although I do feel as if I am not doing something correctly. Keeping up with The Jones is real! Not even saying that I want to have certain things or be a part of certain conversation (I refuse to watch Game of Thrones), more so that I am running in a hamster wheel and thinking that is progress.

In order to get the results that I have been striving for, I need to shift my focus a bit. THIS blog was start as a response to Myspace removing my original posting place. I picked the topic “Thoughts of a Conflicted Blackman” as a blanket to cover the topic that occur in MY life. Since the creation, I have evolved into much more than a conflicted individual. I have been learning towards social commentary more, I have touched on global news/politics, and even have posted a few of my fears, stresses, anxieties and much more over the last 5 years…but should I continue¿

Not saying I will quit writing this blog, but I feel as if I should be starting in a new direction. I will always have thoughts of confliction as a black man, but I am SO much more than that! I have a family that a rarely speak of online. I have ambitions as a father that I stress over, I have hobbies other than the music I so immensely enjoy creating (gardening anyone?), I have motivational & inspirational stories of my past that I want to share, I have been working on starting a program for people with low self esteem as well as program for young people who want to make a career in the music industry. All these things do not fit well into this space I have created.

In order to best serve my audience (and myself), I want to know if I should continue writing in this blog. I will always write in it…but the frequency will definitely change and the content will start become more editorial than a “brain spill”. Just gotta ask my audience and see if they are open to the next phaze of development before I go and start a new something, leaving my established grounds unmanaged.

Just a thought I was thinking…

Now my friend, go off and be grandly awesome on this day given to us! I will catch Ü later!

Be Smooth,


Drawstring Effect

On many occasion I have called myself “Supreme King Multitask”, the fourth. I can truly see how, over the course of me doing EVERYTHING…nothing truly gets accomplished. It is not to say that things do not get done, but more so the WRONG things are done. I have felt like I have wasted many hours doing “nothing” in the pursuit of doing “what I love”.

So many unfinished projects…

So much frustration…


But in the end, I have done SO many things, have my hand in SO many projects, to the point that I NEED to bring everything together under ONE umbrella. For my mind to operate efficiently, I need a certain amount of clarity, mental & spacial. My space is maintained properly, but it is minimal. Looking to expand in the VERY near future, I need to bring more focus to what I feel are the grandest things for my brand. At the same time, I MUST provide the most absolute for my household.

So bringing everything under one roof is KEY in the upcoming weeks. Time seems to not be on the side of the unprepared. And even though I have been “doing nothing” for so long, it has made an impact in a major way in areas I were not aware. Pulling the preverbal rope tight is at the core of my actions. I have been looking into a business plan lately…Im thinking of creating some type of “life plan” to coincide with the goals & aspirations. Action will dictate this outcome & Im R.E.A.DY.!!!



That Was Fast?!

I know it has not been just me so I’ll ask Ü as well:

Does it seem like Time  is speeding up?

Maybe its just my perception of time that is changing or something? My sisters born date is on the 6th and that just seemed like a few days ago! Its almost as if the WEEKS are all blurring together for me. I have been having a hard time remembering certain details that I KNOW have happened,maybe its the weed (its not)? I do know I have been having wild style type of dreams lately. They consist of a LOT of water usually…I wake up and by the time Im out the bathroom I forget them and that bothers me greatly! Im losing track of way to much time, consciously and unconsciously!!!

I can’t be the only one who is having this type of experience…

The only way I have found to “combat” this feeling of a fleeting future is to plan more diligently into the Unknown and Uncomfortable. Comfortability is where most will find the most difficulty with this new experience. Trying to hold on to the past will guarantee the future running over Ü.

In conclusion, because this was more so an inquisition to the readers than anything, I think something is truly happening with Time!!! I can’t explain it but I can feel it…everybody is experiencing this in one form or another, but Im almost positive that majority of people are not even aware. I could be wrong though!!! So again I ask Ü:

Does it seem like Time is speeding up?



State of The Mental

I want to make this post as clear as possible, mostly for myself. After spending hundreds of HOURS and investing THOUSANDS of dollars (that I don’t have) on “becoming a better me”, I do believe I have figured it out. The truth of the matter is:

I have ALWAYS been a dynamic & incredible individual, but my confidence & self esteem levels have been FUCKED OVER COMPLETELY during this lifetime.

It takes very mature individuals to recognize, understand, and OVERstand how those experiences shape the mind of a human. Definitely not gonna act like Im one of those people! I do have a grand grasp on how I feel the world around me should work though…and it pisses me off and worries me dayum near every day. Knowing I can’t change certain things is a coping tool. That still doesn’t stop me from trying to understand  and even attempting to change things within myself.

Which brings us to the current:

Secrets can not be secrets if there are people who know. Period.

While not trying to elaborate on that thought much, I will say I have never had anything to hide. I am & will continue to be an open book…the one that speaks to Ü n shyt!!! Its just that lately, for me at least, the big picture is becoming more clear and recognizable. Not saying I know EXACTLY whats going on, but all the pieces are coming together to form a storyline. The Truth can only be veiled for a limited of time…like the 99 cent Whopper.

Clarity is the current goal and message I will be striving to push from this point forward. I will not be abandoning the message of Change anytime soon, I just want to focus on becoming more clear with my intentions. Might need to construct a guideline or templet for myself to follow…keep me on track with what I want to achieve…a “map to success” if Ü will!  Ill keep Ü posted on what happens with this new shift in thinking and perception.


people in the information space

social network, communication in the global computer networks. silhouette of a human head with an interface icons.

The Fuel of Expression

The mind and body are connected to the FULLEST! When the body is at its fittest, the mind can focus on something other than maintenance/ordering the body. Maybe even the opposite is true also, although I doubt it. I don’t think that feeding the mental will allow for the body to feel refreshed and powerful. I truly feel that one would have to “put in the work” in order to “see the results” when it comes to works of the body. But one aspect of a fit body is having an active and functioning mind.

Lately, I have been stagnate in SO many ways that I can physically see myself deteriorating. Although productive in other ways, I have not spent the valuable time needed to make sure my body is functioning properly. I tend to constantly eat better than the average person and I drink PLENTY of water daily, but that doesn’t do a thing for my energy levels. While in the studio recently, I found that this particular song lacked a certain “sound Im looking for” after listening to it a few times. Im going to blame that on my energy level…

In short, I have to begin a journey that will take me where I want to be on ALL levels! The thing that must be done in the present is to remain focused on the present. I have acquired all of the mental food that I can handle at the moment. I want to share and spread what I have learned! But that damn ittis has set in something SERIOUS!!!




Day to Day

Things used to be so perfect in my world of naivety! Even when I was doing things wrong it was still right! There is no greater feeling than doing what it is that Ü want to do!

Maybe sex…

But waking up in the morning and KNOWING how the day will end is such a marvelous feeling that I don’t believe enough people have the chance to experience in their lifetime. And those that do? They are too far in age to truly appreciate the gift that is Life!

The goal has been for me to put myself and those around me in a position to do such a thing. That has ALWAYS been my goal and purpose, even when I did not know it. Now that I know, I have this uphill battle to get to where I feel things should be.

Is it wrong that I feel this way?



In a nutshell

A Record Company and Health & Beauty Products
3 children
One ours, the older two hers
A full time job and I watch all three children while the Queen works
Cook, clean, dishes, laundry, bake (love them pies man!) and Im even a Handyman!
When it does ring…
My phone is a hotline for highly important conversations and messages
WAAAAYYYY too much time is spent on the phone doing “dumb shyt”
Way too much time!
Have yet to learn Spanish, even though I have owned the Rosetta Stone for 3 years
FRESHH Radio WILL return…eventually…
So will the NÜKsletter
April is Poetry Month & I will take part this year!!!
An EP or 2…3…
Tryna make my own beats this year
Album(S) in the process
New music? Old Music! unheard Music¡