Living Life & Loving It

Month: April, 2016

The Fuel of Expression

The mind and body are connected to the FULLEST! When the body is at its fittest, the mind can focus on something other than maintenance/ordering the body. Maybe even the opposite is true also, although I doubt it. I don’t think that feeding the mental will allow for the body to feel refreshed and powerful. I truly feel that one would have to “put in the work” in order to “see the results” when it comes to works of the body. But one aspect of a fit body is having an active and functioning mind.

Lately, I have been stagnate in SO many ways that I can physically see myself deteriorating. Although productive in other ways, I have not spent the valuable time needed to make sure my body is functioning properly. I tend to constantly eat better than the average person and I drink PLENTY of water daily, but that doesn’t do a thing for my energy levels. While in the studio recently, I found that this particular song lacked a certain “sound Im looking for” after listening to it a few times. Im going to blame that on my energy level…

In short, I have to begin a journey that will take me where I want to be on ALL levels! The thing that must be done in the present is to remain focused on the present. I have acquired all of the mental food that I can handle at the moment. I want to share and spread what I have learned! But that damn ittis has set in something SERIOUS!!!




Afrika Bambaataa & Hip Hop Homosexuality

I have been following the story of Africa Bambaataa, allegedly, molesting young men in the 70’s, since it was broken by Troi Torian about 3 weeks ago. This is shocking on a few different levels for me, mainly because I wanted to become a member of The Zulu Nation less than 3 years ago. Depending on who Ü ask, this is also shocking on a cultural level (if Ü consider Hip Hop a culture) based on the implications that there are those in the early beginnings of the Hip Hop Movement that were aware of child molestation and homosexual acts, yet choose to hid those things from the public.

The Zulu Nation has come out and stated that Afrika Bambaataa has not been the leader of the Zulus since around the mid 90’s. The Nation has removed themselves away from this situation as to not mix the intents of The Nation & Bambaatta. In so many words, it has come to light that Bambaatta is homosexual and has not (as of this writing) come out to the public. The biggest factor to all of this is the child molestation accusations. To those that had ANY knowledge of that at ANY time, they should be held accountable for their part.

This whole situation begs me to ask the question:

Who else???

Not to speculate more that what can be easily found through a Google Search, who else is doing things in the dark that they do not wish to come to light? Who else is living a false and fabricated lifestyle based on a grand illusion for the masses?

But does that even matter?

I mean, R. Kelly pissed on an underage girl and video tapped it and he still can sell out a stadium full of women. I guess it depends on how much Ü are liked? People will glance over things they don’t like and see only what tickles their minds eye. But at some point shot needs to STOP and people need to be held accountable for their actions.

Ill be watching to see how this story unfolds and deeper…




The Mask

I have been evaluating my life for the past few months, gathering my thoughts and whatnot. One of the many things that have popped into my mental a few times was a conversation I had with a cousin a few years ago. She talked about how she feels that she has to put on a mask in order to be around certain people…or something to that effect…

My current feelings towards our conversation are a bit more mature. I have had the time to go through some truly “Adult” shyt! I have noticed that in the last 5 years, I have acquired many different “titles/labels” that I never conceptualized that I would. In the same breath, I have picked up a mask that goes along with each position that must be played. I have NEVER had the problem of picking the right mask for the occasion, but lately, I have been feeling like I don’t even know what my face looks like anymore.

What I have begun to realize lately is that I have stretched myself entirely too thin! It is tiring trying switching masks to accommodate  the different people that I tend to run into daily. I pretty sure they do not notice when I change, but I still try not to draw attention either way. It is just becoming tiresome…changing for the many people…

Then I start to think about it a little deeper:

What if the people I interact with are wearing a mask for similar or even different reasons than me? Are my actions toward certain people based merely off of a  reaction they have come to expect from “people of the world”? Am I causing people to approach me with a mask that they have customized for me? Do I NEED so many different masks…could I use just one? Does a mask even need to be used at all?





The Intellectual Bearings

Bearing: A machine element that constrains relative motion to only the desired motion, and reduces friction between moving parts.

When I think I have thing figured out, only then can I say that shyt is ALL BAD!!! For the longest time I have been fighting with the temptation to make sure I am “being the best” at whatever it is I set forth in attempting. There comes a time when we must sit back and reassess the course we have taken and if that is still that path that we should follow. Looking back down my path I can see why things have been so difficult:

No one has EVER taken this path before me.

The legit FEAR the envelops me and surrounds my soul, is that I will lose control of the one thing that I feel I have. Once I lose that piece of me…

It’s frightening knowing that Ü may never express and be felt
It’s terrifying feeling like Ü are not understood
Losing the grip on the mind Ü once had…
It’s depressing!


Where Will Ü Be When It Happens?

Over the last week there have been NUMEROUS earthquakes that have rocked the planet. Two powerful quakes and more than 230 aftershocks hit Japan and left more than 40 people dead while causing unaccounted damages. Within 4 days of the Japan quakes, a massive earthquake decimated the lives of people in Ecuador killing 270 people and injuring a few thousand. There was another earthquake that happened while I wrote this blog…

Prayer is real y’all…and it works…

I tend to pay attention to things of this nature because I am on this planet that IS alive and active. The things that occur on this blue SPHERE (fuck a flat earth theory) are something that I feel we ALL should beware of. If a animal dies in Africa I think we should know! Its not like people care about the bees until the crops stop growing…

My point is?

The Earth is starting to show signs of extreme activity…especially around what is called ” The Ring of Fire“. This area just so happens to contain Japan, Ecuador, and parts of the West Coast of the United States. There have been talks of the fault line Cascadia giving off signs of activity over the past few months. My thoughts are with those out there that have no clue about the information intros last paragraph.

In closing, I wrote a song about this type of thing…this is nothing more than protocol if Ü ask me. But for those that think this is something other than “odd” or “strange”, be careful over the upcoming months.


Happy To Do It

Just a thought that has been on my mental lately:

Have Ü ever done something that Ü didn’t want to?

I am sure Ü have! The important thing is that we do whatever it is that was asked of us with a smile! The reason why? I personally feel that people react differently towards those that put and keep a grin on their faces. This helps people to be more at ease when that are dealing with us with personal/trusting matters.

Beware of those that pull that tricknology out of the bag and hide fangs behind their lips! There are those walking the planet that have nothing more to do with their time than to fuck your shyt up! The alway do this with a smile. Those are usually the ones closest to Ü that have that power and authority.

Honestly, I have never had any hard feelings toward somebody that has done me wrong in whatever way it may be. The thing I have the biggest issue/problem with is not knowing when to turn that friendly shyt off! In the end…I am growing tired of pretending about certain things…




Day to Day

Things used to be so perfect in my world of naivety! Even when I was doing things wrong it was still right! There is no greater feeling than doing what it is that Ü want to do!

Maybe sex…

But waking up in the morning and KNOWING how the day will end is such a marvelous feeling that I don’t believe enough people have the chance to experience in their lifetime. And those that do? They are too far in age to truly appreciate the gift that is Life!

The goal has been for me to put myself and those around me in a position to do such a thing. That has ALWAYS been my goal and purpose, even when I did not know it. Now that I know, I have this uphill battle to get to where I feel things should be.

Is it wrong that I feel this way?


Why Am I Paying Taxes?

With this being the last week to file taxes here in America, I thought it was kinda interesting that all this information became public recently.

The largest information leak on the planet, The Panama Papers, happened not too long ago. The reveal is said to have TRILLIONS of dollars that have been hidden from the general public. Basically, people in high places of authority have been hiding money and not being taxes for it. Of course there is more to it but my point for writing this is ask:

Why are we paying taxes?

I searched the internet and found this video that best explains what has been happening for DECADES. It kinda pisses me off just knowing that the same people who are in charge of “making things better”, are not only hiding funds from us, but also making things much worse in the process!

Im not going to rant much because truly, I don’t follow politrics like I should to actually REALLY know what is going on and what’s means to me directly.

Just a thought along with a few links of information…



Things On My Mind

To be perfectly honest…

The thoughts that have been on my mental lately can be best described as chaotic. The most important thing I have going for me is a strong woman who is willing to put up with my shyt! I have my ups and downs, but the main thing is that the goals and focus’ are not lost during this trying time.

My cousin once told me  a long while ago that we can go through a “hiatus” only to come back stronger on the end. I don’t want to fall on the end being “not up to par” as I once was. There is also the spirt of competition…I honestly am not in the position to take a loss like I was…I WON’T allow anyone or anything stop me thing next time I rise.

With all these thoughts on my mind and in the air surrounding me, I wonder if it would be wise to take a plunge into the unknown. The part of me that has been repressed for quite sometime. I have not been able to spread my wings out of fear they will be clipped! This is a REAL fear that I have embedded within my mental.

My saving grace is that I can peak without showing face…even that too shall come to a halt shortly. I have…truly…no choice in the matter! I want things to be SO perfect!!!! But yeah…we all know how good perfect turns out to be. So, I have to plunge into a situation that I am NOT all too familiar and/or comfortable with. I have given myself a timeline of the end of the month…

Even before then…

I want to start doing something that will give more purpose to what I have done in the past. Im just not sure where to start with that…


Flint First, Your City Next!


The video above is just a brief overview of the current crisis in Flint, Michigan. My heart goes out to those people who have to walk miles to get a few gallons of water for the day, each and every day. My soul screams for those that have had to drink this shyt for FAR too long. There is just SO much wrong with this situation on SO many different levels.

If Ü have been following this story for any amount of time, the main focal point is that this is happening to poor people in Michigan, which the rich folks are drinking filtered glacier water. Since this has been happening for the past TWO YEARS, it should be noted that Lead Poisoning is TRAGIC! Every since our daughter came into the world, we have had all types of test n shyt about protecting this child…the lead test is one of them. We had leaded paint in this old ass early 1900 house. However, that is NOWHERE as bas as drinking leaded water.

I just wanted to write this so that those in my personal reach of influence would could get my take on what is going to be one of Americas grandest tragedies of this decade. I will be pledging some type of assistance to the cause. Not just because I am from Michigan and feel I need to help my soil land fam bam, more so because this could be happening where I live and I would pray that someone would be able to do the same.