Living Life & Loving It

Month: January, 2016

My Brothers Keeper

To make a life long story one sentence short:

I have ALWAYS had to take care of my siblings, in one way or another.

I guess that is what happens when Ü are born first? Either way, that has been a part of my life that has been trusted upon me since their births. I won’t go into too many details in this blog, but the bottom line is that I have outgrown that stage of life. Call me a grump or whatever, but at the end of the evening, people make their own choices and are usually left to the after effects of the choices they have made. That is not always the case in my situation.

All in all, I love my position as “Big Brother”! Even though I have been places with all this extra responsibility, I shoulder it pretty decently. But them their are times when that position is compromised to the point that EYE make a decision for those that refuse to for themselves. And yeah, I come off harsh and brash as fuck! Im straight to the point and usually don’t hold my tongue when it comes to emotions of the heart. Over the last decade or so, I have allowed that aspect of my personality to become a dominate force in how I make my choices in this experience. I would rather be by myself than to be around people that make me go against that grain.

Which bring me to my beloved brother. There comes a point in every males life where the bullshyt MUST come to a stop and that one must put away childish actions and become a MAN. I and under the impression that everyone comes to this point in their own time, but that time is NOT on my time. No matter how much I love and have affection for my sibling, I will NOT allow him to put anymore strain than has already been placed upon me. When a person refuses to come clean and free about what they need help with…when that person refuses to use truth as a deodorant…when that person has to ask other people to to ask ME to help HIM…

This is my brother & I love him!

But I gotta draw the line somewhere…right?




The Troubles of The Mind

The world around us all is a product of thought. I truly believe that this “thought” is what keeps us in the condition that we are in. I also believe that there is a force, or power, that is causing us to behave in a certain manner that is inverse to our normal behavior. With those few words being said, there is much we have do do and learn in order for us to have control over our own thoughts.

I might have have said this in a blog before but it is a constant in the back of my mind. While I was on Twitter a few years ago, I remember engaging with a cat that tweeted:

“How much of your day is conscious on your part?”

Basically, how much of your day is based on the actions that YOU wanted to make?

Did Ü WANT to go to work or do Ü NEED to go?
Why are Ü on your phone again?
Has everything Ü set out to accomplish for today been done?
What has been distracting Ü?

These are a few things that I usually think about during the course of a 24 hour period. I have become sickened at some of my actions at times. I honestly wish I were able to do other things and replace my time with that which will fulfill my inert desires. But I can’t stay the fuck off Youtube watching these documentaries and lectures and things of the sort. I would like to do something else, I can feel the strain of looking at a screen constantly. There have been a few times I have looked up from my phone and wondered why the outside was so vivid! Sad I know…

I said these things to bring to light this, without making determined and conscious choices of our own, someone or something will take advantage of that. There are those out here that will truly live off our tears. They would love to purposely piss in our stream of positivity. Don’t let people get away with doing such things toward your essence. It is definitely a challenge! But try…

Ü owe that to yourself.



Excuse My Fingers

I usually tend to stray away from posting about things that are occurring in my personal life. Every so often though, my personal and professional life blends together ever so seamless that I have no choice but to speak on certain topics that happen during my “day to day” life. Here is an example:

I started a new job after a LONG time without financial stability earlier this month. I am taking on a new experience that I never even dreamed I would be doing. This is a super exciting time for me! The one thing that seems to be an issue is the fact that I have been FREEZING MY ASS, FINGERS, TOES & EVERYTHING ELSE OFF!!!

I have never worked outside during the winter before and this is a TRIP man!!! On top of my crazy work schedule (3am-11:30am), I have to find the time to warm up before I can do anything! I have only been doing this for a few weeks and the one thing that keeps me going is knowing there will be a check waiting for me at the end of the week. Im just glad that it is warming up….slowly….

At the end of the day, I just wanted to take this time to reach out to those that enjoy reading my posts. I also wanted to inform the readers that my New Years resolution is actually to write about more personal things that occur in my world. I don’t want my writings to come off as me being in some type of perfect form that nothing ever goes wrong. I have SO many things that I choose not to write about because I don’t feel it would get a positive response. Then I got to thinking…

The goal is to write more consistently and frequently, which is something that I will be doing!!! Just had to let those who care (even just a little) that Im still here, Im just going through some things right now. But Im willing to share those things with Ü, just let me warm up first!



Frostbite Infographic

Keeping Up With The Internet

I used to have a Myspace!!! That was my spot man…
That is honestly where I started writing my blog!
Im glad I copied all of em before they changed it.
I lost my password and Facebook consumed my soul…

Youtube’d a lil bit but didn’t have a camera so that was that.
I wrote poetry for a while on Facebook before it became a liability
Had to eventually delete those because they got kinda popular!
I wigged out that I never copyrighted them!!!

Then came the #TwitShyt!!!
Which is my favorite platform on the social inter webs.
I say how I feel & don’t delete NOTHING!
Ü should follow me!!!

And then came the Insta, reddit, pin-thing, fours4, this thing and the next to the point that I just want to start coloring in a book with crayons. It can’t be this serious?

Somethings don’t ever change.
Im still writing this blog right?
But Id rather be a river than a stream of piss
I gotta start writing more on paper…


And Then I Woke Up

I have been in a state of sickness for the past 12 days. I took some “medication” last night and ended up getting some type of stomach thing.  As I type these words, I am in a state of physical pain and discomfort. Even though I feel like death currently, this too shall pass.

In this state, I have been having some of the most interesting dreams. At times, these dreams seem to bend the fabric of my reality. I usually have vivid dreams that I KNOW have some type of significance, I just don’t know how to translate these things.

There have been MANY times that I have dreamed things and have experienced my dreams while walking down the street. Some call this De’JaVu, I think its my psychic powers awakening. Im tryna bend spoons and dodge bullets in the near future!

But then I wake up…

I got this…job thing I have to go to, so I can make this fake ass paper, to buy this fake ass food and live this fake ass life…

I have been learning a lot of new things lately. The goal is to share as much as possible with the time that I have. There is no telling how long this is going to be “reality”.

Things as changing extremely rapidly…



I truly don’t get caught up in the “New Year” mind set. I try to operate under the impression that the “New Year” is not what one might think it is. I might have to write about that one day, but for now, I would like to keep things as simple as possible.

I have noticed that I tend to make things more complicated than should be. I might not be alone in doing that, so I will attempt to make my struggle a bit more transparent. The goals that I am laying out for myself are in order to keep me on track. I tend to make a LOT of outrageous claims that I usually cannot follow through with. I would LOVE to bring a cease to that immediately!!!

So, my mission is to continue to keep it super simple! They call it the KISS Principle. And with that knowledge, hopefully, I will begin changing the world around me in a major way. Alchemy in a way.

I just gotta keep it smooth and steady incline.
You’ll see…