The Way I’ve Been Feeling Lately

by NÜK

Depression is a disease that can occur based on many different levels of mental struggle.

Back in April of this year (’15), I had my entire Summer planned into the Fall. I foreseen a VERY eventful four month run of musical misadventure! I planned things that were going to catapult my music career to the next level that I have bleed & cried for over MANY years! And then…

disappointment…

I almost cried in those 24 hours.

I lost a grip of something inside my skin…

Not because I didn’t get to share the stage with a Legend in my industry, but more so because I let myself succumb to the  failure of letting myself down. The saying “Never put all your eggs in one basket” is SO true! I experienced what that means on multiple occasions during my time “trying to make it”. But this time…was different…

Since June 27th, I have lost two members of my family. I was able to attend only one funeral. I can not even begin to explain how much that pains me. Especially since I saw and spoke to one at the last funeral I attended. I truly understand how ones presence can be needed in times of upmost distress. It sucks being SO close and still far away.

Moving forward, I can only begin to rebuild the mainframe I was in, before I placed my mental where I stand currently. As of todays date, I am still at a loss for certain words. Coming to grips with the reality that others are facing. In the same breath, readjusting to the reality that I truly desire is what will bring me to the sunshine I once warmly felt!

But alas…

It’s always cloudy in Pittsburgh, PA…

NÜK

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