Living Life & Loving It

Month: February, 2015

Black Mystery #MYStoryVersesHIS

I have been trying to stay off Facebook as much as possible lately.
I truly can’t figure out why EYE would need to be on it constantly anymore…

Logging on today, Facebook wanted to know my “Legal Name” for “Verification Purposes”. I slightly declined & forcibly renamed myself. Now that I went from “Ben Duin Dis” to “Ben Dis”, my feelings for the platform are no longer the same. I went through my Timeline like the zombie that I have become, only to be reminded of TWO things: The Super Bowl & Black History Month.

Seeing as to how I once was “Duin Dis” and am now “Dis”, it has become VISUALLY apparent what I have been “Duin” and what I am currently. I have came a LONG way from being a “legal name”. I have denounced my legal name a LONG time ago!!! Ill write a blog about that one day (maybe…). I have not liked my “Government Name’ for well over a decade. It took me around 25 years of my life to define WHO I AM for MYSELF! Once I came to terms with what it is EYE stand for and represent as an individual walking this Earth, I began to shape the world around me based on that.

After YEARS of research ( I can’t believe I am now able to say that line ), I have came to a point where my line of thinking is conflicting with my immediate surrounding. I say that and mean it on every conceivable level it could mean. I am SO uncomfortable with my surrounding that I am forced to either physically change them or remove them altogether. Which brings me back to the Super Bowl…

i won’t watch that thing even if it came with a free meal! I can get NOTHING out of that power struggle. My power struggle is on my home front, not on TV. I understand that my power struggle is deeper than a 3 hour game. The thing most don’t understand is how distracted from the bigger picture we have grown to be. And to take that a step further, we has grown away from ourselves in the process of the distraction. This has pulled us away from our storyline of life and has us coasting downhill into whatever that is at the bottom.

Its like…

Once the GAME is over, the FANS will watch Baseball, but the PLAYERS must train for the next one.
Its just a dayum shame how many will show up for the practice…



For The Love #ArtisticValues

One of my VERY first studio recordings was about me getting my dick sucked…it started out as a “Safe Sex” song!!!
One of the VERY first songs I EVER wrote was a ballad or love song, a little over 20 years ago…

I remember a LONG time ago I said I was going to give up on making music. I went through a traumatic event that caused me to throw away my notebook. I was gonna focus on doing ANYTHING else. I promise Ü, somebody put the notebook back in front of my door. It was like fate or a stalker…either one…I was freaked out!!! That was the last time I said I would stop…

Until recently…

Flashback to June 2014, I said I was going to stop making music until after my daughter was born. That was one of the easiest things I have done lately. Not having to worry about making music, listening to instrumentals constantly, being a mental nut bag over articulation & enunciation, remembering every vocal inflection, every rhythmic step that leads into a bounce…the act of poetry in a groovy motion!!! I stopped doing what comes naturally to me. Something that I have been doing for SO long, I don’t know of anything else I could be better at.

Now that I have “returned” to the music entertainment industry, I don’t even want to be here!!!

This shit is GARBAGE!!!
I can not believe how over saturated MUSIC has become with “fluff” music!!! I have listened to the radio more since I stopped writing regularly and the shyt that the will play on the radio is ridiculous!!! I can not believe that people are calling those songs “music”??? Why??? WHY!!!


Because I have yet to take advantage of the situation. In a land of grime I can almost promise Ü Mr. Clean will shine!!! And that is what will drive me to the next level with this music thing. But that is also what will set me apart. I have long outgrown the desire of “fame & fortune” within the industry. That is what makes my music different. I just want to express my TRUEST thoughts down on paper & deliver them over an instrumental. I do not wish to self censor myself based on another persons feelings. But I also do not wish to attach people who lay their hearts on the line for me. Having a heart myself, I find it hard to “not give a fuck” about something I hold close to heart. So my tact is to make sure that I deliver ME to the best of my abilities.

And even now as I type this, listening to an instrumental that has the effect of making me want to tell people my personal problems, I want to hold myself back. I feel that if I say how I feel someone will be PISSED!!! But if I don’t say how EYE feel, I will never be at peace. And the dilemma of the artist will continue…


all I haveb