Overseeing everything that has anything to do with me has ALWAYS been key. Even when I first started to hang out in small groups of people, not that I felt I had to lead, but I felt the need to know what was going on around the people who were around me.
Some people were not aware of…a car speeding as we walked across the street or even that their shoes were untied. The more I sit back & reflect on these thoughts I can see that we ALL have played the same role at one point or another. Even myself, I wasnt always as sensible as I am now….
I still do dumb shyt from time to tyme….
Now that I have some years on my age…I can see when certain position should be played.
I can even see HOW they should be played.
I have a completely different perspective on many things now…
It has come from me being in an elevated state of mind…even when I aint smoking weed!!!
The hardest part about it all???
I guess that would be staying awake & aware ALL THE TIME!!!
As much as I would like to come down from my post & position….I feel that I can’t do that…
I feel like, the VERY moment that I come down from even being up here….something is going to happen. I am in constant concern of that. So much so that I neglect the other areas of responsibilities in my kingdom.
And honestly…Im at the point where I MUST come down…
While watching for an attack on the outside and being in tune with the surroundings around me, I left the inner walls venerable to all types of inconsistency. I can only fault myself…but when I come down…who is going to fill my position???
My concern on that matter might not be as large as I am making it out to be….