Living Life & Loving It

Fuck Ü!!! Pay Me!!! #ChildSupport

A week later…

I have contemplated a LOT of areas in my life over the past 3 months. One thing that I want to do is narrow my personal focus on what I feel is the MOST important goal at that current time. MY goals are what are the MOST important TO ME at that time!!! And I have involved a LOT of people into what I do. And there are people who TRULY want to see me where EYE want to be!!!

The issue I have ran into?

I have allowed waaaaaayyyy too many to be onlookers, who either:

1) Don’t know ME & need to grab a seat over there…

2) Don’t know me & want me to take a seat over there.

3) Don’t even know how /or do not like to read, so they didn’t even make it THIS far to know that #3 is just a page filler!

So I must cut my losses & focus on the people AND businesses that EYE personally support. In the end, it works out for everybody that is INVOLVED in the bigger picture!!! It is not like I am “unreachable”…especially if Ü pay attention! And that is what my problem is…I pay attention…to EVERYTHING…waaaayyyy too much!!!

And now I must go back to the basics & build from the basement up!!! This might be the grandest gift I have given myself in years!!!



The Mighty Will Crumble

At the time of my writing this, my daughter is 30 days old. And as much as I hate to admit it, I use my daughter as a gauge for my current standings in life. Since she has came into our world, me and my Queen have been on a certified mission that’s POSSIBLE!!!

No more than a week after our child came into this world, I felt an urgency that I have been wasting my energies on frivolous matters…especially OTHER peoples “matters”. I immediately began to remove EVERYTHING possible with a negative effect from my MINDSIGHT. That took a physical toll on my body. It forced me to break out the Total Gym XLS that I bought and don’t use!

The moment that was done, I created a newsletter to keep people “posted” on the things occurring in my professional life. The ideal is grand!!! I am involved in a LOT of different areas of interest, I figured a newsletter would be a grand way to incorporate my business life with my social life. I don’t just make music & ask people to listen to it on Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, Instagram, Trumblr or Google+. I actually have things I LOVE to do! I have things I would LOVE to express!! I have things I LOVE to talk about!!! So the newsletter is a way for me to bring everybody under one roof give them the “Big Picture” of who they are captivated by.

Once I had that platform in motion, I immediately began to set in motion a Blog Talk Radio show. I had came up with a concept, a loose theme, a direction, a general ideal of what I wanted to do, what I wanted it  to be called and even a few ideas of different show programing…all in like 2 days!!! I had a few practice runs in secret so I could figure out how things worked. My siblings helped me out GREATLY promoting on their ends. When I launched my first official show, I had a decent turnout!!! I currently have an interview booked with a chief from New Orleans for my season finale in November!!!


This was all within the last 30 days…

Six days prior to the birth of my child I was in Cleveland Ohio. I had to cancel a trip to Michigan for next weekend because I have to prepare to open up for The Ying Yang Twins on the last saturday of this month. Im planning a trip to New Orleans in October for 3 birthdays on the 19th, 21st & 23rd. And to top it all off…I have a oil gasket seal leak in my hootpy and my daughter doesn’t have a clue about what 4:30am does to a person who has to wake up at 6:30am

I only wrote this for those who are expecting a few things from me & very rarely hear from me as it is.

I promise I am still listening & active!
Currently, I have taken on a bit more than I can handle…
Nothing I can’t get a grip on though!!!

But still…

It sucks feeling like Ü haven’t done enough…


The Price We Pay

I had an epiphany the other day!
And then it continued to happen everyday after that…

A while ago I wrote about Time. I didn’t truly comprehend what I was writing at that moment, but since that day, I started to learn and educate myself on things that EYE find interesting. Along the way, I discovered how precious each thought I think truly is! Which brings me to the predicament at hand.

Each day, as soon as I get out of bed, NOTHING that I do is what I WANT to do.

The exchange of my time is something I part with constantly. Even as I write these words, Ill never get to repeat those moments I had my back to my child. Im cool with that though…she might be as well ( I spent WAY too much time in her face! ). But when I have to go “provide” for her and the rest of the unit, I have to risk SO much for SO little!!! It is NOT a fair exchange!!!

I hear people justify their exchanges unconfidently to others. And they believe I am crazy for being as outspoken as I am. I believe they are crazy because they are, by definition, insane. So I end up questioning my sanity. Which sends me searching for more answers…

Gotta pay the bills” though…

But at what cost??



“Back On My Business!!!” –

Almost 7 years ago, I almost died

My life since then has been a CONSTANT battle with rebuilding, reorganizing, reevaluating and above all – SURVIVING! In a strange way, the year after I started my record company, I fell ill to HELLA dis-eases! I even was close to suicide…

The rebuilding process has been a slow and methodical adventure!!! I have been everything that I wanted to be ( and even things that I have not even imagined ). But during that process, I lost a LOT of what I was building towards. They call it “Momentum”. I was traveling up hill carrying 100 tons & SPRINTING!!!

What happens when Ü lose that pace???

Which brings me to the point I am currently! I have taken the next step ( I feel ) needed to better reach those who want to be reached by me!! I started a Newsletter!!! This is a MAJOR step for me!!! I am able to better organize MY social & personal life through the “NÜKsletter” and give it to Ü as RAW as I get it. 

On top of the “NÜKsletter“, I have been creating a program chart for a Blog Talk Radio show I have recently started! I’m calling it “F.R.E.S.H.H. Radio“! I intend on making it a well rounded forum for the topics that I hold close & that those on my “NÜKsletter List” will eventually recommend me to cover for them on future shows. Currently, I am working with Times & Days the show will air. Every other Monday & Friday I want to socialize with Ü, and every other Wednesday I want to bring Ü an interview.

I will be using the “NÜKsletter” to get advice, information & topics of interest in order to give to the “F.R.E.S.H.H. Radio” listeners!!! On top of the poetry book that I have been working towards, these are exciting times for ME personally!!! 

If Ü have not signed up for the “NÜKsletter“, do so now and receive a FREE Download of “Sketches vol.1“. Go to my website ( or click HERE & Ü will be taken to the sign up page. 

Thank Ü In Advance!!!



Living The Dream

One day I realized something was VERY wrong

I looked around me to see that “Scripts” were becoming a part of peoples daily dialog. Even myself, I could quote a few words or sentences that I have heard 5,000 times each on a minimum. When I came to THAT realization…I watched for a while…

…and then I watched some more

I watched SO much that I became a ninja figure that could pop up on a person with out them seeing ME whenever I felt like it. Thats one of my gifts!!! I would like to think of it as Awareness.

That was years ago, currently, Im at a point in my life where I can no longer watch people in an outside environment. I am trapped in a building…maybe like Ü might be. I see the same people 5 days in a row (maybe!), on the same schedule, same time, doing the same thing, all day, everyday…

Every once in a while I will spark a conversation with a handful of the people. I always get feedback, which is awesüm!!! But sometimes I get off the wall answers, looks, and even faces of confusion. My topics will go against the grain of the brain they have trained into thinking the thoughts they hold dearly. I can’t help but pick a persons brain whenever I’m allowed!!! 

But at times, Ill inquire towards a certain line of thinking. No matter who replies, I usually get a similar answer. That answer eludes into an uncertainty. And then the topic changes to Television, Music, Sports or Obamacare. So with nothing better to do, out of boredom, I drift into a corner somewhere with something that interest ME

Ü will see the world a bit differently when Ü are awake with it.



Chains of The Slave

I sat on a table reading for FOUR hours the other day.

I would have read for more, but sadly…I had to do something else every so often. The more I think about WHY I was able to read for 4 hours…I become a bit confused and angry! I start to reflect on all the books I have read over the past few weeks. At times, I actually become jaded at the time I spend reading!

It’s like, I left the comfort of my home, the love of my family, the fresh air, and even the ability to make a sandwich at WILL…all because I must go into a building…sit on my ass…and READ???

It doesn’t make sense…especially to those who WATCH ME read all day! I piss people OFF because I read as frequently as I do. But there is honestly nothing they can say to me…this is how EYE spend MY time…


I see MAJORITY of the people locked into one of a few other things than reading. I see people with, what I like to call, Boomerang Neck. I see people walking in circles. I sometimes look up to watch people who are watching me read. I hear conversations about being bored, sex, drugs, lies…

And then after 8 hours (or even 12), each one of us will stare at a clock & WAIT to leave! Come back the next day and do it over again…



And then it dawns on me…

…I actually signed up for this…



7 Perks of Black Privilege

Due to my current schedule, I will try to make this as detailed as possible with the allotted time. I would like to think I am writing a piece that would cause way more critical thinking than anything else that may result of these words. If there are any feelings brought about by this writing, Ü have brought that upon yourself.

Lately, I have been seeing a writing from 1988 circling my online surroundings. People have been explaining, in their own words, the current validity of the thoughts of that time. My thoughts???


The writer made some valid points…history has made better points…but MY LIFE??? I can honestly say without a doubt that I have never experienced “White Privilege” in my life. But I know about Black Privilege!!! And Ü know what??? I’ll tell Ü about it!!!

This is not, by any means, a definitive list. This is more a reaffirmation to self than anything. With that said:

1). The Universe & EVERYTHING in it has given me Life in order to discover The Universe & the Life that it contains!!! For that, I am and will be eternally grateful…Thank Ü…

2).  Due to the creative & alchemic nature within self, I was able to seed a rock in the soil. It eventually grew a tree, that produced the lemons, that have been & will be thrown at me…because I’m Awesüm!!!

3). Hindsight is my chosen guide in this Life!!! Being able to understand past events clear and precisely is a gift that animals do not have.

4). Melanin is a dark pigment within the skin. Melanin is also proven to be a powerful Superconductor of energy. Naturally, darker skin provides protection from the Sun. So in a sense, the darker Ü are, the more energy Ü may contain!!!

5). Yes…its true

6).  Foresight allows me to see into the future. I have trained & focused my mind to be sharp for upcoming mental trials that may come my way. Seeing what lies ahead becomes a natural product of keen awareness.

7). Having been through some of the most horrible of things in life, there can be nothing but a GRAND and BEAUTIFUL outcome!!! And in order to make sure those things happen, I have been blessed with the privilege to Love Unconditionally. That alone trumps anything I could expect in this Life.

8).    .   .   .

And now I must be going…the birds are telling me to sleep…



Satan Is Real!!!

***Disclaimer: I am not religious but I do believe in a Creator. #Spiritual***

My love for Video-Games (or is it Videogames?) has a long seeded & well watered history in my life. Even into adulthood, I am still a child when it comes to those things. But the reality is…

Who has time to play a video-game????

So Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2 came out & I bought it…I didn’t have the money to do so & was pissed that I did. So I will be giving “Spoilers” in this blog, but it really doesn’t matter to me. In the end…I defeated Satan…again!!! It took me less than 10 hours to do this task. The ending was SO hard to beat AND the dialog was HYPER repetitive! So much so that I put my television on mute while destroying the Fallen Angel.

And then it TRULY dawned on me after I stabbed the vile being in the chest…this was no ordinary video-game. Due to suffering from a lack of sleep by working a forced 3rd shift, and forced sleep deprivation based on trying to “beat this game in as few hours as I can, so I can get back my life”…

I started thinking…

“And these hoes love me like Satan” - Lil Wayne

“The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was to convince the world he didn’t exist” – Usual Suspects

“But woe to the earth and the sea, because the devil has gone down to you!” – Revelation 12:12

I thought about it all at the same time…for a LONG time!!! The thought still doesn’t sit well with me. I start to think about all this talk & speak of “Illuminati” & “The 1%” and everything that goes along with that. And then I think about how heavy BOTH of my grandmothers are in the bible. We are alive in strange times indeed…

I don’t even know why I started to write this piece. It is NOT to “Prove” something to someone or “Disprove” something. I would like to call it an observation of my surroundings. A focusing of my awareness. Self re-evaluation of THEE current situation at hand. Day to day life is a huge distraction from the life that has been lead on this planet in the past. People tend to not learn for prior mistakes…myself included…

Ill leave Ü with a blessing from a past blog:




Social Media SUCKS!!!

Last year I took a break from Facebook for a week. It was the best choice I made at that time! I felt liberated to a point that I could think about & do OTHER things…anything…other than Facebook.

The crack brought me back…

And honestly, I’m tired of it! “Social Sites” are not what they COULD be. I don’t even know what they have become lately, not like I knew what they were before. But I do know what it was like before Social Media!!! I actually CALLED people on the phone instead of texting entire conversations. Twitter used to lightweight cure my ADHD. As a “working musician”, I have no iClue what the fuck Reverbnation is used for. Is it MySpace’s step brother??? I don’t know if I should get a Tumblr because “everybody has one” and I should “expand my reach” to touch more people. But then I would have to take pictures on Instagram EVERYDAY just to stay relevant in peoples News Feed (which reminds me to post that picture of oatmeal I ate yesterday).

I don’t even like taking pictures!
If I did, I’d be a photographer!!!

But I take pictures…with a filter sometimes…it brings dramatic effect to my stale ass life. Hashtag a few of these things right like #This. Once I get the hang of that, someone updates their pocket device & can now make little 15 second videos of bullshyt? So when I try to do that, my phone doesn’t support that function, so now I feel left out…or should I?? Maybe I should start making these Youtube videos to showcase me as an individual, in a world of individuals, who are living different lives than displayed in the visual.???

I need views n shit…

For why???

I guess to be super social in a world full of people who no longer communicate in person. I feel as if I have to keep up with the advances in technology in order to stay relevant in the “popular conversation”. I remember the first time someone asked me for my email and I didn’t have one. That kinda sucked! Now I have 4 accounts and that sucks even more!!!

Looking at these screens is sucking the soul straight from my body through my eyes.

But if it was not for this “Social Media Shyt”, I would not be able to express myself to people who don’t even know me. People who can’t even say my name correctly come up to me and say: I like what you are doing. I appreciate that! People that read EVERYTHING I post, but won’t acknowledge they fact the did in ANY WAY are like that people who just stares at Ü from across the way.


Maybe Ill never understand it…

But one day I will!
And that will be the beginning of taking my life back and sharing the process with Ü!
I gotta bring as many people out of “The Void” as possible.




Domestic Violence

I live a constantly complex life!!! 

Not saying that your personal life is not complex, but I am quite sure I process my information waaaayyyyy differently than Ü. Certain things take a while for me to respond to. A delay in reaction. 

Almost like a…short circuit…I won’t feel a thing!!!

 I’ll call it “Emotional Disconnect”.

Over Hyper Analyzing situations.

In the blink of an Angels’ eye a already terrible situation can change dramatic & terrifying. I STILL don’t know how to respond or react. It not like a “passing away” of a loved one…Ü already knew the ending would come…one day. But to have a life TAKENREMOVEDSTOLEN

NOTHING can compare to the shock murder does to ones train of thought…

Yet, things of that nature seems to be in the nature of a crazed people these days. 

I can only begin to feel the anguish that this has brought to my family. I will never truly know the full extent of the impact. But even in the absence of a physical presence, I can say I am there in spirt. I want to continue to be positive when things of a negative nature enter our reality. Being a pillar of support in in climate weather is always needed to matter the reason.

Im not sure how to word this next portion other than being direct:

Domestic Violence is SERIOUS!!! 
I can NOT begin to stress that enough!!!
If Ü or someone Ü know is a abusive relationship…


Inform the proper authorities and prevent something far worse than hurt pride.


*In memory of Shandar Marie Turner



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