Beyond the Internets and mobile devices that we all carry, there lives a being that we lost sight of long ago. Even as I sit and write this prose, I am very well aware that I don’t see this being anymore. Like a gentle tug, I can sometimes feel a mental nudge pushing me in a forward direction. But once I start moving, I am slung backwards by the one thing I have trouble controlling.
The cell phone cameras, the webcams, the photo shoots, the poses, the phone smiles…all caught in the moment. Even videos have started to play a part in this “Life” as we have come to know it. More people spend time practicing for pictures than anything of grand use. Selfish is a selfie world. And even then, people are still blind…
I have found myself in an interesting situation lately. I have been is a self confinement for SO long, that I can now witness my flaws in REAL TIME. In an instant, I can see the effect and affect that the littlest (or so I thought) of movements can frighten people. My rough demeanor has become more than a shell, it has become an armor of some sort. My every action makes the loudest of noises.
And then, I have yet to speak!
Somewhere in the bible there is something about the tongue being a double-edged sword. I have the tendency to throw daggers when I speak…hard, harsh, straight to the point! My tact is NOT of the best caliber. I have been finding it difficult to explain my thoughts in a logic that is free from the “self confinement” it has been under for so long. It is like turning a rock into a diamond. I will get there with enough polish! And eventually I will be able to see what other people see in me. The good, the bad, and the fucked up.