nuknoe

Living Life & Loving It

7 Perks of Black Privilege

Due to my current schedule, I will try to make this as detailed as possible with the allotted time. I would like to think I am writing a piece that would cause way more critical thinking than anything else that may result of these words. If there are any feelings brought about by this writing, Ü have brought that upon yourself.

Lately, I have been seeing a writing from 1988 circling my online surroundings. People have been explaining, in their own words, the current validity of the thoughts of that time. My thoughts???

Eh….

The writer made some valid points…history has made better points…but MY LIFE??? I can honestly say without a doubt that I have never experienced “White Privilege” in my life. But I know about Black Privilege!!! And Ü know what??? I’ll tell Ü about it!!!

This is not, by any means, a definitive list. This is more a reaffirmation to self than anything. With that said:

1). The Universe & EVERYTHING in it has given me Life in order to discover The Universe & the Life that it contains!!! For that, I am and will be eternally grateful…Thank Ü…

2).  Due to the creative & alchemic nature within self, I was able to seed a rock in the soil. It eventually grew a tree, that produced the lemons, that have been & will be thrown at me…because I’m Awesüm!!!

3). Hindsight is my chosen guide in this Life!!! Being able to understand past events clear and precisely is a gift that animals do not have.

4). Melanin is a dark pigment within the skin. Melanin is also proven to be a powerful Superconductor of energy. Naturally, darker skin provides protection from the Sun. So in a sense, the darker Ü are, the more energy Ü may contain!!!

5). Yes…its true

6).  Foresight allows me to see into the future. I have trained & focused my mind to be sharp for upcoming mental trials that may come my way. Seeing what lies ahead becomes a natural product of keen awareness.

7). Having been through some of the most horrible of things in life, there can be nothing but a GRAND and BEAUTIFUL outcome!!! And in order to make sure those things happen, I have been blessed with the privilege to Love Unconditionally. That alone trumps anything I could expect in this Life.

8).    .   .   .

And now I must be going…the birds are telling me to sleep…

NÜK

Image

Satan Is Real!!!

***Disclaimer: I am not religious but I do believe in a Creator. #Spiritual***

My love for Video-Games (or is it Videogames?) has a long seeded & well watered history in my life. Even into adulthood, I am still a child when it comes to those things. But the reality is…

Who has time to play a video-game????

So Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2 came out & I bought it…I didn’t have the money to do so & was pissed that I did. So I will be giving “Spoilers” in this blog, but it really doesn’t matter to me. In the end…I defeated Satan…again!!! It took me less than 10 hours to do this task. The ending was SO hard to beat AND the dialog was HYPER repetitive! So much so that I put my television on mute while destroying the Fallen Angel.

And then it TRULY dawned on me after I stabbed the vile being in the chest…this was no ordinary video-game. Due to suffering from a lack of sleep by working a forced 3rd shift, and forced sleep deprivation based on trying to “beat this game in as few hours as I can, so I can get back my life”…

I started thinking…

“And these hoes love me like Satan” - Lil Wayne

“The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was to convince the world he didn’t exist” – Usual Suspects

“But woe to the earth and the sea, because the devil has gone down to you!” – Revelation 12:12

I thought about it all at the same time…for a LONG time!!! The thought still doesn’t sit well with me. I start to think about all this talk & speak of “Illuminati” & “The 1%” and everything that goes along with that. And then I think about how heavy BOTH of my grandmothers are in the bible. We are alive in strange times indeed…

I don’t even know why I started to write this piece. It is NOT to “Prove” something to someone or “Disprove” something. I would like to call it an observation of my surroundings. A focusing of my awareness. Self re-evaluation of THEE current situation at hand. Day to day life is a huge distraction from the life that has been lead on this planet in the past. People tend to not learn for prior mistakes…myself included…

Ill leave Ü with a blessing from a past blog:

#PrayerWorks

NÜK

Image

Social Media SUCKS!!!

Last year I took a break from Facebook for a week. It was the best choice I made at that time! I felt liberated to a point that I could think about & do OTHER things…anything…other than Facebook.

The crack brought me back…

And honestly, I’m tired of it! “Social Sites” are not what they COULD be. I don’t even know what they have become lately, not like I knew what they were before. But I do know what it was like before Social Media!!! I actually CALLED people on the phone instead of texting entire conversations. Twitter used to lightweight cure my ADHD. As a “working musician”, I have no iClue what the fuck Reverbnation is used for. Is it MySpace’s step brother??? I don’t know if I should get a Tumblr because “everybody has one” and I should “expand my reach” to touch more people. But then I would have to take pictures on Instagram EVERYDAY just to stay relevant in peoples News Feed (which reminds me to post that picture of oatmeal I ate yesterday).

I don’t even like taking pictures!
If I did, I’d be a photographer!!!

But I take pictures…with a filter sometimes…it brings dramatic effect to my stale ass life. Hashtag a few of these things right like #This. Once I get the hang of that, someone updates their pocket device & can now make little 15 second videos of bullshyt? So when I try to do that, my phone doesn’t support that function, so now I feel left out…or should I?? Maybe I should start making these Youtube videos to showcase me as an individual, in a world of individuals, who are living different lives than displayed in the visual.???

I need views n shit…

For why???

I guess to be super social in a world full of people who no longer communicate in person. I feel as if I have to keep up with the advances in technology in order to stay relevant in the “popular conversation”. I remember the first time someone asked me for my email and I didn’t have one. That kinda sucked! Now I have 4 accounts and that sucks even more!!!

Looking at these screens is sucking the soul straight from my body through my eyes.

But if it was not for this “Social Media Shyt”, I would not be able to express myself to people who don’t even know me. People who can’t even say my name correctly come up to me and say: I like what you are doing. I appreciate that! People that read EVERYTHING I post, but won’t acknowledge they fact the did in ANY WAY are like that people who just stares at Ü from across the way.

o_o

Maybe Ill never understand it…

But one day I will!
And that will be the beginning of taking my life back and sharing the process with Ü!
I gotta bring as many people out of “The Void” as possible.

#EndRant

NÜK

Image

Domestic Violence

I live a constantly complex life!!! 

Not saying that your personal life is not complex, but I am quite sure I process my information waaaayyyyy differently than Ü. Certain things take a while for me to respond to. A delay in reaction. 

Almost like a…short circuit…I won’t feel a thing!!!

 I’ll call it “Emotional Disconnect”.

Over Hyper Analyzing situations.

In the blink of an Angels’ eye a already terrible situation can change dramatic & terrifying. I STILL don’t know how to respond or react. It not like a “passing away” of a loved one…Ü already knew the ending would come…one day. But to have a life TAKENREMOVEDSTOLEN

NOTHING can compare to the shock murder does to ones train of thought…

Yet, things of that nature seems to be in the nature of a crazed people these days. 

I can only begin to feel the anguish that this has brought to my family. I will never truly know the full extent of the impact. But even in the absence of a physical presence, I can say I am there in spirt. I want to continue to be positive when things of a negative nature enter our reality. Being a pillar of support in in climate weather is always needed to matter the reason.

Im not sure how to word this next portion other than being direct:

Domestic Violence is SERIOUS!!! 
I can NOT begin to stress that enough!!!
If Ü or someone Ü know is a abusive relationship…

PLEASE…

Inform the proper authorities and prevent something far worse than hurt pride.

NÜK

*In memory of Shandar Marie Turner

Image

Don’t Mind Me

Since the last time I wrote a blog I have been through…

Life.

The vastness of that which we call “Reality” is TOO familiar to be ANYTHING other than “Actual”… 

(READ THAT AGAIN)

As I have been going through MY personal reality, others have been going through theirs as well. I don’t fault ANYONE who has a focus on “Self”. Sometimes…that is the best focus to have! But I do feel to we ALL should have a firm grip on the “Big Picture” of the “WHY” we go through the things we do on a DAILY basis. 

With that being said…

I will attempt to clear the space as much as possible…I need to make more room…

NÜK

Image

The Crown

I have approached this Summer a bit differently than the last…as it should always be! This year had me watching the sun rise on the beach of Lake Tahoe, almost rear ending a car under a bridge in San Francisco, drinking a 5th of Hennessy  in the middle of Lake Folsom in Sacramento, playing ON a set of Dominoes while in a park, watching weed grow (its an exciting process!!! I Fux Wit The Shytz!!!), watching a episode of COPS get filmed in front of my face, getting cussed out by the non Anglish speaking person sitting in the middle of the road at 4am & sooooo many other things…

I could make a list that would compromise this entire blog!!!
Saying “I had fun” would be like slapping me in the face…

And even then…it is not even all about ME.

During my escapades of interstate traveling, I had conversations with like minded people. Even people who were NOT like minded…but more so , convinced with conviction of their positions of entitlement. People with a purpose. People with goals AND plans to achieve them. People who (like me) are willing to carve their names on the face of Mother Earth…tribal style of course.

I said that to say this:

I am NOT the only one who has a mission to achieve on this planet.
I AM one of the FEW who knows the value of strength in numbers.
I will be a teacher & a leader before I become a conformist & follow.

I do not wear my proverbial crown year round…so when the Summer ends…I usually take it off…and let the rest of The Royal Family run about & enjoy the throne.

My reasoning…???

Honestly…

Being a King is easy when Ü know there is a WAR going on that Ü do not have to participate in.
I am a hands on type of individual. I also believe that I connect with people better when I am with them under the same circumstances. One can’t ALWAYS give orders and not be willing to takes orders as well. There should be a balance…being a Libra, its only right I take of my crown at the end of the Summer.

And even without the weight of the crown…I still hold my position…

NÜK

Image

Turmoil of The Artist

I have been through a few things in the last 12 months…

Im STILL going through shyt…

*shrugs*

Since around like…March of last year…a part of me has been taken & twisted…
Thats around the time I found out my cousin was diagnosed with cancer. Since THAT day, I was changed…

I wrote a song for HER to listen to…
I wanted her to hear ME speak directly to her…

She listened to my words of comfort & support and then passed on on Thanksgiving of 2012. 

The strange thing is that I have been performing the song since last summer to grand reception. People TRULY understand where Im coming from with my words. I guess the message is getting across to those who listen…everyone except me!

As a person who LOVES music, I can appreciate the type of song I created. 
As a person who CREATES music…I can’t help but feel like I can make the song better…

As strange as it may sound…I honestly do not like the way the song I created SOUNDS. I feel there are things about the song I could & should change in order to make it more CLEAR & understandable. But at the same time…I didn’t really write the song for Ü to enjoy in that way…I wrote it FROM THE HEART to my cousin. 

She actually heard it the way I wanted it to be heard…thats really all that matters to ME! But as an ARTIST, people will ALWAYS be quick to critique the art I create. Which is where I currently find myself…

Should I recreate this song for the mass appeal or leave it as it is in loving memory???

The choice seems easy don’t it?

NÜK

Image

Stuck In A Rut?

I wake up & start a routine that changes slightly from day to day…depending on how I feel or what I feel. Its rarely the same thing, but in a way it is. I tend to change it depending on the what happened the night before. Adjusting as I see fit…

I truly believe that the last things we think about before sleep become our dreams. I also believe the first thoughts & images placed in our minds when we arise will set the tone for the entire day. Most people check Facebook 1st thing when they wake up…

o_o

I never been one to write down my dreams but I do remember and recall them quite well. In one of these dreams I was writing a blog & it only took up a short amount of my time doing so. It helped me to flesh out the rest of my day & get my mind pumping & active!

I ate breakfast!!!
Because THAT doesn’t happen in my reality as much as I would like…

I started to workout more often…using this jump rope that it seems I bought & neglected. Push ups & light weight training…

This was a GRAND dream!!!!

Then I woke up…

And Ü know what one of my FIRST thoughts were this morning???

“I’m Hungry!!! But let me write this blog right quick….”

NÜK

Image

HIStory #NeverForget

I honestly have been wanting to write in my blog for THEE longest…I just haven’t had the energy to speak the thoughts on my mind. And even when I did have the energy, would Ü really want to read my TRUEST thoughts at that time??? I usually have DEEP thoughts about things of ZERO importance to a LOT of people…

A female told me there are not enough hours in the day over the weekend. I asked her about her view on time and then her religious background…she flipped out & told me to leave her alone….

I didn’t know time was such a sensitive subject to some people…

Now imagine if I spent my time writing about my thoughts on Animals, Bitches, White People, Black People, Gay People, Bisexuality, “Mexicans”, Governments, Aliens, Demons, Heaven, “Hell” and people with fucked up teeth (I have a theory).

I am kinda like a philosopher. A grand mind that seeks to broaden upon what I currently understand with what I had no existence of before. I question EVERYTHING!!! Not out of disrespect…more so out of curiosity…

Some people don’t even know WHY they know the things they know or were taught.

*smirks*

Maybe I should write in this thing more often??? Even if only a few lines???

Who knows…

NÜK

Image

Letting Go

Prior to the passing of my cousin, I made it a point to change my cover photo on Facebook  once a month. It has not changed since Thanksgiving Day of 2012. 



The world may never know how this passing has affected my family, but even as I write these worlds, I feel I myself have not properly mourned. Honestly, It is a hard battle to continue living this life with a cloak of invulnerability…like NOTHING in this world has an impact on self…

…even the smallest of actions could have a mountainous ripple…

…
..
.

Imagine Mount Everest dropping peak first into a thimble of water…

..

…yea….

…somin like that….


NÜK

Image

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,708 other followers